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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?